A Time for Peace

As many of you know, I was baptized on Sunday, March 2. I included the video at the bottom, but first I want to defend this decision.

Actually, nope. It doesn't require defense, explanation, or justification whatsoever. God told me to do it, so I did--that's all there is to it. I hope that nobody can ever look at me or think about me and wonder what I believe, or better yet, in whom I believe. I hope it's overwhelmingly obvious. And ultimately, I hope that my life will put a smile on the face of my Savior and glorify Him. I hope that people will see how He uses me and say, "There's no way she did that on her own."

But I do want to explain something that I've learned since then. Before jumping right in, I feel like this is a necessary precursor: God uses many unique pathways to communicate with us. He can use the Bible, dreams, other people, visions, nature,... really anything. If He's trying to reach us, He can use whatever medium He wants. He's God. (Just in case you forgot.) And recently, He spoke to me through my friend Josh.

The day I was baptized was, quite simply, exhilarating. I have experienced very few times where I've felt closer to God than when I was literally fulfilling His immediate will within 30 seconds. Many times, God asks us to do things that take a long time: loving someone difficult, trusting Him, praying for our enemies... Doing all of these things reflects a heart for God and a commitment to His will, but they take time. It's not a "one and done" sort of deal. All of this is just to explain the intensity of the presence of the Holy Spirit while my pastor dunked me for all the world to see.

However, I was shocked to find that by Monday, and especially on Tuesday, I was feeling incredibly bored. This sudden, unexpected spiritual dive was disappointing, especially since it could not be blamed on anyone or anything. I have never been an admirer of lulls. I'm all go-go-go, all day, every day. I've been this way since I was a little girl: if you ask my parents, they will tell you that I would just go and go until I would literally drop and fall asleep almost instantly.

This "let's get the show on the road" behavioral tendency of mine was re-confirmed in the fall after taking a strengths test for one of my classes. It determined that one of my top five strengths is an Activator. This is how the test described an Activator:

     "When can we start?" This is a recurring question in your life. You are impatient for action. You may concede that analysis has its uses or that debate and discussion can occasionally yield some valuable insights, but deep down you know that only action is real. Only action can make things happen. Only action leads to performance. Once a decision is made, you cannot not act. Others may worry that "there are still some things we don't know," but this doesn't seem to slow you. If the decision has been made to go across town, you know that the fastest way to get there is to go stoplight to stoplight. You are not going to sit around waiting until all the lights have turned green.

While this part of my personality can be very helpful in getting things done, it also indicates that I struggle with my patience. (This, unfortunately, could not be more true. But we'll talk about habitual sins another time.) Spiritually, I have noticed that whenever I am enduring trials, fighting hardships, or facing obstacles, I actually tend to feel closest to God. I'm not sure if this is normal, but I feel like it's probably not. Personally though, it perfectly explains why I felt bored and farther from God in the days following my baptism.

And now, back to my friend Josh. After telling him everything I've just explained, this is what he said:

"I think I understand what you're saying. I guess I just see times like that more as times that God is just giving me peace for a season and not really a lull. I think He gives us those times to look back and meditate on what we've gone through and learn more from that. I think it's easy to get caught up in trying to make ourselves feel better by constantly going, but I don't think that's the only way to grow in Him."

If you don't have wise friends.... you should really try to find some. I could not be more grateful that Josh was willing to speak truth into my life. And it made me realize something else:

I pray for peace all the time.

I experience it often, when God affirms that I am doing his will, or when I feel worried and cast my cares on him. However, the peace that I feel is often related to specific concerns, events, or the future. I cannot recall a time when I experienced a period of peace that encompasses all areas of my life. God is giving me a precious gift right now. He is providing a TIME of peace, not just a feeling of peace. And the convicting part about this is that without Josh's wise insight, I might have continued to complain to God about it--about a gift.

After realizing this, I noticed that my prayer life had been dwindling for a few days, and I certainly was not happy that my communication with God was failing because of my own ignorance. The reason for my prayer deficit was that generally, my prayers are very egocentric. I pray for myself, for what I need and desire, for direction in my own life, and for God's hand in my future. If I'm not praying for myself, I generally pray for my closest family and friends. And don't get me wrong, we should be praying for ourselves and our loved ones. But if that's all we're doing, that is incredibly selfish.

I don't want to be selfish in anything, but I especially don't want to pray selfish prayers.

So I resolved to stop praying for myself altogether for one day. It was pretty weird. And hard. Naturally, it has become habitual to pray for myself first. So whenever I caught myself headed in that direction, I directed my prayers elsewhere. And I learned something: THERE IS NO END TO THE LISTS OF PEOPLE, THINGS, AND SITUATIONS THAT NEED PRAYER. I mean it--no end. Try it. I dare you.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Psalm 37:7

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him." Psalm 62:5

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (ESV)**

"Teach me, and I will be quiet; show me where I have been wrong." Job 6:24

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. But in humility value others above than yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4

"My heart says of you, 'Seek His face!' Your face, Lord, I will seek." Psalm 27:8

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to week and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time for war and

 a time for peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1,4,7b,8b

**just a side note: unless I say otherwise, the Scripture I quote will always be from the NIV. :)